Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
