Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
