Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this boner is exhausting
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
