What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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