I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I smell like Dick and happiness
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
