Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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