It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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