I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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