I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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