I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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