his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
