Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
