you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
