i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
