I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
