Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
