Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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