I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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