I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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