I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
