this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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