I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize