note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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