she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
