hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
