we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
