I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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