Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dick very happy bro
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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