I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
