tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
