I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
