If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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