Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
