Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
