Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
