is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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