it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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