Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Your dad touched me again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
