I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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