1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the condom got lost in my hair
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Four minutes until I can fart!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
