just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
