dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
