walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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