I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
