I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
