A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
