I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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