THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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