Already got asked if we're dating
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
