i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
