check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
