My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
