You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
