I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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