Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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