sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
