The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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