It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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