WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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