I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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