worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
