if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
