you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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